It's OK

Good friends are priceless. I have been struggling lately and I just didn't know what was going on. A friend walked with me the other day and we just talked. And we vented. And we got some things off our chests. It felt really good and I realized some of what my problem was. See, I was (and still am a little) struggling with vanity. And to compensate for feeling so bad about feeling this way, I was eating lots more junk than I have in the past 7 months. I was self-destructing because I thought I was a horrible person for enjoying seeing my reflection in the mirror. The person on the other side looks nice. I'm not sure if I have ever felt that way. I guess after having been so overweight and hating what looked at me in the mirror, the reflection I now see has so much more appeal. I thought it was a severe case of vanity because I caught myself looking in the mirror every time I went past. After talking with my friend, I came to realize that what I thought was vanity, really wasn't. I think it's alright to like the way you look. I do. And that is OK. It's ok to like the way I look. It's ok to want to see myself in the mirror. And it's ok to want to have my picture taken once in a while. (After years of avoiding a camera, it feels strange) I still feel a little wierd about it, but I am coming to terms with my new look and I am not going to let it get me down. I am not going to stuff my face with cookies to try to sabatoge myself anymore. I am going to lose these last 14 lbs. I can't wait to celebrate this success.